Thursday, December 30, 2010
The Art of Lying to Yourself
A friend and I have been talking this morning and an interesting subject came up. We want to know if you ever find yourself lying. Not just to other people, but to yourself. Whether it be about your feelings towards a man, or your true feelings towards a friend, I'm sure we have all been in that situation at one point or another. How many of you have settled with less than what you want because you are afraid to hurt yourself, or someone else. Life is too short to be unhappy, and sometimes you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and jump. It may be rocky at the bottom, but you would be surprised at who just might be there to catch you.
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Life doesn't always provide the best opportunities for us to just jump, like you said Jen, the bottom may be rocky, or scattered with broken glass, but sometimes in the end it will be worth it. If only I could follow my own advice. I often find myself lying to none other but myself. Maybe it's easier to make everyone else happy, maybe it's the "norm" for you to take the back stage behind someone elses light, maybe you don't know how to get to where you want to be. All these reasons and more, lying is easy- but only for a short time. For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. and its not always easy to keep up a fasade.
ReplyDeleteI totally and completely agree. Sometimes, you do hit the bottom and instead of someone being there to catch you, they are the ones putting bandaids on your scrapes and kissing them better. The thing that sucks the most is that people get so used to you sacrificing your happiness for theirs that when you actually do something for yourself, they have a complete and total meltdown. That's when you have to take a good hard look and decide who is worth keeping in your life and who needs to take a hike. The ones that love you no matter what will stick by you. Like a barnacle. Nic, you are my barnacle, and I love you!!!
ReplyDeleteI often wonder this when it comes to some of my friendships. I am a person that grew up with many dramatic friends and I swore to myself that after I had my daughter and many life changes that I would stay away from drama. when situations come up I picture drama starting and I hide it. I pretend that everything is okay. I tend to destroy myself sometimes because I hide it all inside and hurt myself. I fear with living in a small town people will hear things and judge you. It makes it stressful and hard so I just sit at home and make my three year old my best friend. I dream for days when I want to go out to dinner and have a glass of wine or something and then I look around and realize I dont have friends!!
ReplyDeleteJudgment happens in a small town. Ashley, you and I know this. Especially since we grew up with many of the same friends. It's hard to get the mindset where you stop worrying about what other people think. I'm still not there. I worry all the time. You have friends Ash. :)
ReplyDeletewell ok.. ive seem to run into this problem myself.. my best friend hasnt been talking to me and i dont know why.. i keep telling myself its not my fault she will come around like always.. she just has a lot on her plate whatever.. but its been over 3 months now and not a word.. maybe i really did do something but idk what and i cant fix it if she doesnt talk to me.. so now i feel like the last 8 yrs of our friendship is f*cking nothing bc she wont do anything.. and i got her something for x-mas and i now feel like that was a total mistake.. what do i do???
ReplyDeleteOh Jordan, I'm so sorry. The only people you want in your life are the ones that prove they want you in yours. It sounds like she doesn't understand what she had in you as a friend. If it were me, I would stop trying to contact her. I know it is going to hurt, but it will hurt less than the continual rejection of unanswered phone calls and texts. Just remember that you are amazing and you can always come visit me in Baker. I have some awesome friends who would love to meet you!
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